If we’re so successful, why do we feel so empty?

If we’re so successful, why do we feel so empty?

Despite our culture’s material success and economic affluence — there is a persistent sense (especially among younger generations) of what we might call emptiness.

I often hear the most “successful” of my 20-something friends making six figs in consulting, banking, tech etc. say they simply don’t feel fulfilled.

This is especially true in the context of work-life satisfaction (see above).

There are persistent feelings of loneliness, lack of authentic connection, little motivation, and confusion about life and goals. Like there has to be something more…

Dr Gabor Mate — world expert in addiction and integrative medicine wrote a 500-page, life-changing (not exaggerating) book titled The Myth of Normal.

He offers a brief outline of how our culture feeds this persistent sense of longing…

If we’re so successful, why do we feel so empty?

• Separation from ourselves
• Manufactured craving.
• Conditioned tolerance of the absurd

Separation from ourselves…

Culture reinforces and rewards external validation above personal fulfillment.

Think of a workaholics lawyer or software engineer who sacrifices her mental health and the emotional health of her family to achieve career success.

Internally, she is distressed and unwell. But externally she receives praise, money, and recognition.

Our image and status obsessed cultural norms make us feel inadequate unless we’re climbing some social ladder. It disconnects us from who we truly are.

Manufactured craving…

From the age of about 2 years old, we are bombarded with technological intrusions and advertising to the point of hyper-stimulation and constant tension.

We are brainwashed into thinking our material wants are real needs. We are manipulated by highly trained marketers with billion dollar budgets into obsessively craving things.

Thus we strive after wants and neglect our real needs: love, connection, and authentic emotion.

Conditioned tolerance of the absurd…

As children we grow up always asking “why”. But the system essentially beats this question out of us. We’re molded into simply thinking “this is just how it is”.

We don’t want to rock the boat so we sink with it.

Essentially, madness becomes so common at the level of society that we normalize it. And thus tolerate the conditions we call “normal” that are undermining our mental and physical wellbeing.

Why do we feel so empty?

It is not who we are — but what our culture does to us.

Joseph Campbell wrote — “I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.”

If we want the experience of being alive, we must question what is “normal”. We must rethink the cultural norms and expectations that prevent us from feeling alive.

For more science-based tools and discussions of happiness read studyhappiness.blog or @jacksonkerchis