How to Negotiate with Your Life’s Work (Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away)

They say in negotiation that if you’re willing to walk away then you hold all the power. Keep this in mind to overcome neuroticism.

My big goal is essentially to earn a few thousand dollars per month from my creative work so I can spend my time learning about things that matter to me and spending time with those I care about. Because this is a reasonable and well-thought out goal (according to me) it can be a trap. If it were some dumbass goal like making a billion dollars then I wouldn’t feel compelled to work so hard on it.

But when you have a thoughtful, realistic goal that will bring you joy then it’s easy to give yourself permission to stress or overwork. You feel like it’s okay to sacrifice for a good cause. You’re stuck. You don’t have walk away power. And your noble pursuit becomes a prison-sentence.

So remember that you can walk away. I don’t mean killing yourself or giving up. I mean you can just drop whatever it is you think you have to do and life will go on. You want to get your PhD but it’s stressing you out — quit it. You want to turn your startup into a million dollar company — drop it.

It’s one thing to know this intellectually “yeah if I’m not happy I can walk away whenever”. But I encourage you to actually walk away for awhile. Go spend four months in a monastery (like me). Go spend a week hiking the Appalachian trail. Go spend three weeks in Mexico with no phone or computer. And you’ll find that life goes on.

And you’ll have walk away power when you come back to the negotiation with your life’s most important work.

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